Monday, October 27, 2014

the one about garth tickets

I got tickets to Garth Brooks in St. Louis. 

Not just average tickets. Tickets in section 101.

I'm sorry, is this real??

There are already tickets listed on Stubhub in nearby sections that START AT $491 and go up to $800, EACH. I bought mince from Ticketmaster for face value, $56 plus tax--so $140 for both.

I could only get 2 tickets, so obviously I am taking my brother who is just as much a Garth fan as I am. I am not sure I have mentioned it or not, but Garth Brooks was my very first concert. I was in the 5th grade, and have been one of his biggest fans since that night...

I really like every song he does, and there are a few unexpected songs on my top ten list:

10. The River
9. Rodeo
8. That Summer
7. Shameless
6. That Girl Is A Cowboy
5. Your Song
4. She's Every Woman
3. If Tomorrow Never Comes
2. Unanswered Prayers
1. Much Too Young (To Feel This Damn Old) other news, last week was Homecoming week at school and I channeled my inner Zach Morris yesterday for #throwbackthursday by wearing a (very early 90s shade of teal) shirt featuring the one and only Kelly Kapowski. I also wore acid wash (drawstring/stretch) jeans. I had more gel in my hair than four teens from Jersey, combined.

...and I went to a wedding on Saturday...I know right, I have lots of weddings.. this is my bro and my cousin and me. I told Matthew if he needed a ride, call me. I guess he thought I would still be awake at 4:16 AM when he called to see if I would unlock my door...I guess for an after party because Mom and Dad were asleep at his failure to launch crib. 

hope y'all have a good week...

Friday, October 17, 2014

the one with a gone girl review

I went to see Gone Girl last night, and I was disappointed. Not to sound like that old tired saying "the book is always better...", but in this case, that is so the case. Catching Fire the movie was better than the book to me...The Notebook was better than the book...

Let me explain why I think this....

(oh, and for the 12 people in America who still haven't read the book, but go to see the movie, you need to atleast read the cliff notes because otherwise you will leave the theater kind of puzzled...)


|one| In the book, Amy's diary entries make the reader believe she was really in to Nick when she first met him. Their meet cute in the book was just better. In the movie, she sounds super sarcastic when she writes, kind of like she doesn't mean what she is saying and knows all along she is going to do what she did...

|two| parts that were left out that I missed:

--More of Nick and his mistress, Andi. She played such a big part in the book--so much so that I gasped a little. In the movie, they didn't go to her place ever...and a very crucial part was omitted--when she goes to Go's house for the second time. That is when he tells her he must cut off all communication with her--then she bites him on the face and he claims he has broken out with hives. Totally left out of the movie.

--The blogger who gets Nick (when he is almost drunk) to do a video of why he misses Amy (at a different bar--not The Bar), and that's the one she sees and even makes mention of his hives...Not the Sharon show Nick was prepped for by Tanner's (his lawyer who is white in the book with a black wife that Nick is surprised by) wife--there was no such character in the movie.

--The fishing trip with the guy from Amy's hiding spot..Also the lady who worked the front desk had a bigger part (or even one at all)..

--Desi Colling's visit by Nick. He didn't go inside his house, his mother (who was so perfectly passive aggressive and I loved) was not in the movie...I also think the casting director did not pick a good person for Desi's role..I like Neil Patrick Harris a lot, but he isn't Desi.

--"I would love you even if...." Margo and Nick played this game as kids..

--Amy going to the Plasma bank with Nick's mom, revealing her "fear" of needles and then when she turns up pregnant by using her neighbor's pee it's more convincing because she explains why she didn't do a blood test...

Overall, I really liked the book--I give it an A. The movie, on the other hand, was not complete to me. There were too many crucial details left out. I give the movie a C-.

Oh, and don't go see it because of Ben Affleck's full frontal hype--I hardly call that "full frontal" I actually didn't see anything...burn.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

the one with so what wednesday [october 15]

that I am literally kissing any sort of social life away because all I do is work. I literally (and I am one of those who HATE when someone uses "literally" am LITERALLY sweating my ass off...oh really, because unless you look like me and feature a back that goes straight to leg and haven't an ass, then have not literally sweated your ass off--and I didn't sweat mine off...I'm just that white.) work 12 hour days. I am beginning to think it's not so much a side job anymore. I really do love being creative and designing shirts, but geez...I guess there isn't many other options when I got bills to it's good I guess...

that I am a little bit too excited about Homecoming spirit week at school..but to be fair I have always been overly enthusiastic about functions where I get to be silly (this pairing with my unhealthy obsession with school supplies confirms my choice of career...because as a teacher I not only get to by school supplies, but I get to buy them with someone else's cash...). This year we are having a Pirates and Princesses day--I'll just dust off my Jack Sparrow costume from a few years ago; Messy vs. Fancy day--the students wanted this to be "Rachet" and Fancy day, but since they don't realize the word rachet doesn't exist--unless you are talking about the tool--and that it comes from the word wretched. Pink Out Day for Breast Cancer awareness is Wednesday, and then my favorite is #throwbackThursday.. I am throwing it back to late 80s/early 90s. I have ordered my attire, and plan on being mistaken for Zach Morris because this is it:

**do you all know these pants are for real for sale to be serious?? They are called "acid wash joggers"

that my best friend had tickets for us to see Pearl Jam last night and because I didn't answer LAST WEEK when she called, she assumed I was shading out and didn't want to go SO SHE SOLD THEM on stubhub. Then she told me we could get seats still, but they are in the nosebleed section. I told her that is so pedestrian to sit somewhere other than a box or club level, so nothankyou. She didn't want to sit in Heaven either, she just wanted to go and felt bad..but turns out, it was ok, because of course I had t-shirts to work on...I told her I am damn near 30 and I am not shady anymore...most of the time..haha. So I listened to Eddie on my iPod and pretended...

that I am obsessed with concerts and I am so scared I will not be able to get tickets to see Garth Brooks anywhere....The tickets sell out like crazy--in all the good seats--and I just can't get through to order...I am just confused why I don't have an assistant to do that waiting around and refreshing the page all giddy like a little Japanese school girl waiting for the new Hello Kitty store to open... Garth or Trisha...if you are reading (which I am sure you are, duh) help a brother out...or I know someone who has a little music connection that could help me out...

that I think this season's voice judges are better to me that any combination in the past seasons..Pharrell is just stupid talented.. Gwen is super rad as she would say--which I have totally caught myself saying that now---and of course Adam and Blake are a given...I did hear that Christina has been confirmed for next season to replace Gwen...that's ok with me I guess, even though X-tina is super narcissistic...but hey, so is someone else I know...and she sounds like an angel from Heaven when she sings...


Tuesday, October 14, 2014

the one about road work

This weekend recap will be pretty boring since I did nothing exciting other than think the Hogs just might beat Bama. There were so many chances...But to only be beat by one point is tremendously better than I would have ever guessed...verdict: Bama is overrated and Arkansas is underrated. Duh. I know one thing--it's a good day to be a fan of Mississippi football. State is ranked number one and Ole Miss is #3. I just hope the Hogs get a taste of that medicine...

I paused reading my book to watch the game. I read Gone Girl. I was hesitant, but after a glowing recommendation from Fallon, I had to give it a shot. Not to ruin for y'all, but these are my thoughts on the book:

1. Overall, I enjoyed the book. I like how the story is told in first person from both Amy and Nick. 
2. [Some] women are completely nuts...especially Amy Dunne.
3. The ending pissed me off.

I am too vested not to see the movie. I googled the cast so I would have the correct vision in my head of what each person looked like.. I pretty much agree with the casting--except Tanner Bolt--Nick's legal adviser..In the book he is described as "overly spray tanned" and in the movie he is played by Tyler Perry who is definitely not pasty, but is more than just spray tanned...his color doesn't wash off..

Finally, I have a complaint. Imagine....

As if it isn't annoying enough to be late for work due to construction, even more annoying is sitting still waiting for a mile of traffic to come through one lane on a Friday afternoon on my way home.. I have made quite a friend with the guy in charge of the double-sided stop/slow sign... On Thursdays I have early morning dooooodie. Yes I know, even though I have "more degrees than a thermometer" according to some in my family, I still have to make sure tomorrow's leaders don't run out in front of a bus. Morning Duty means I need to leave my house by 6:55 to make it to school on time without driving like Jimmie Johnson...Of course I never leave home until 7:05 leading to my sucking the paint off vehicles I pass in a complete blur.

Last Thursday I was the first one in line to wait for the mile of traffic to pass in the only open lane. I sat there for (not even kidding) SIX minutes--almost seven. So what did I do to my "friend" with the stop/slow sign in his hand? I put my car in neutral and revved up my engine letting him know I needed to GO. He looked at me like I had horns, and didn't flip the sign around until the last car was damn near a mile down the road. I waive nicely now so he will not make me wait so long.

until next time...

Monday, October 6, 2014

the one with a weekend recap

hey y'all- So this weekend was a really good one for me. I started my weekend on Thursday at 3:30 because I took off of work on Friday. It was a good day to take off because the weather was awesome.. I spent most of the day indoors though because I had stuff to do around my house that I have needed to do since June. My bedroom is almost complete thanks to my friend, Shea and her mad sewing skills. She finished these back in June, but I just got around to hanging them..

They are a little wrinkled, but to expect me to use a steamer that A) I don't have and B) don't care because the wrinkles (like every other imperfection in my house) "add character..."

Friday night was rehearsal dinner for my lifelong neighbor, Greg and his bride Chelsea--fun fact: she is the one who I made shirts for the bachelorette party and misspelled bachelorette. Of course I was photo happy and some were on insta...

all of the Gerrard kids who were there: Conner, Sarah, Matthew and me

my family...

I love this...this is my brother, Matthew telling Greg the groom who knows what...

and then Saturday night the wedding happened--that I missed because I was too far invested in the Ole Miss/Alabama game after having watched coverage for about 7 hours.... But I did go to the reception and it was hella fun.

Ashley and me...

high school buddies, Allison and Kelly

my family again...we are very rarely in the same place at the same time, especially dressed...

Matthew's teeth and me


the neighborhood kids, and Jake's squinty eyes.

 On the dance floor...

I typically do not get embarrassed.  It takes a lot. But Saturday night, I wanted to tuck my head and leave. This is a pic of me dancing my Mom--the person who passed down the gift of rhythm and mad dance dad and brother have to watch someone else clap to catch a beat...So we were grooving pretty good, and at the end of the song, I always dip her...So this dance floor was so slick...people told me...I danced and was fine...Mom was wearing new shoes, not can imagine...I felt like Chandler at his wedding reception when the floor was slick...She and I both fell ALL THE WAY TO THE GROUND. I felt like such a loser. We were fine and both popped back up, but sweet Jesus I was ashamed.

I didn't leave the reception until the lights came on at 2AM. I love a good band..So yesterday I took a really long nap and went to be for the night at 8:15.

until next time...

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

the one with eight things

hey y'all.. since I haven't been posting regularly, I will just make this a post of random thoughts I have had as of late.

|one| Since reading the list of Forbes richest people in America, I have been trying to come up with an invention that will take America by storm...I want to invent the next GoPro camera or even Facebook will do...I just can't think of anything. I try to replay my day in my head coming up with my least favorite thing to do that could be replaced with a machine. The only thing that comes to mind that I really don't like doing is getting out of bed when my alarm goes off. And watering my ferns. The most promising though is a cereal bowl that keeps the milk separate from the cereal so it doesn't get soggy, and I am sure if I look hard enough there is already something similar to that. I also have thought about writing a kids book or even greeting cards...I am not destined to be average. I want to be a Zuckerberg...Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out???

|two| Scandal made me cry last week. Call me a middle-aged woman, but I kind of lost my mind at Harrison's funeral.

|three| Mothers/Parents I need you to promise me one thing: Don't take your kid's side when he or she is punished by the teacher and say your kid would "never do that" when you don't know, and teachers don't lie. It makes you look silly.

|four| I took this on the way to work this morning...

|five| I am very thankful my Mom got good news from her doctor last week. She had to go back because of an irregular mammogram. I was worried sick. But turns out, it was fine. This is the two of us at the 5K last weekend.. and this was taken with my iphone6--the pictures are so clear..

|six| I posted a status on Facebook last week about my most influential teacher..It was Dr. Gist, my high school English teacher. I learned so much in English, but I learned to love writing in the Creative Writing class she taught. She taught at Lee for SO many a matter of fact, both of my parents had her as an English teacher. My Dad and I both had class reunions last year and his was 30 and mine was 10, so at least 30 years. I was her very last class to teach and I love that...I attribute my writing style to her...

|seven| It really makes me sad to read about the real estate agent who was kidnapped and murdered. She is from Arkansas, and I am sure y'all have read about her..I just can't believe someone could do that. It is hard not to hate in a situation like this. If that were my mother, I would want to tie that bastard who murdered her to a tree and let everyone I know beat the dog shit out of him.

|eight| Pharrell is my new favorite person after watching him on The Voice--of course I googled him to find out all about his life so I can have something to talk to him about when we do lunch and do y'all know how old he is...I know "black don't crack" but time has been good to him....he 41. I know...

|nine| speaking of The Voice--this guy is on my tops list...and he did John Mayer whom I have obsessed over since Room For Squares.

until next time...

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

the one with a few designs

As per my usual high school football homecoming season, I have been busier than a cat covering shit as of late. This season I tried something very unusual--not procrastinating. It has been somewhat of a challenge, but rather rewarding because I actually don't have to work a "fun, side job" until midnight the day before an event. Here are some of the shirts I have recently done:

||autumn on the square|| is an annual festival we have in Marianna that is pretty fun--and by fun, I mean every food truck within a 50 mile radius comes and allows me to act as though I haven't eaten in days...completely glutenous, but so delicious.

||junior class tees for homecoming|| It's kind of a funny story--I do lots of shirts for local-ish schools. This particular private school in the area plays my high school (not where I teach, where I went) and it's somewhat a conflict of interest, but I like the design they gave me and had to do's the Dos Equis beer guy...touche.

||lee academy fan shirt|| If you want one of these, text me.

and perhaps my favorite shirt design I have ever done--

||paws on the pavement|| This is our second annual 5K that benefits the Marianna Pound/Dog Shelter. I have to say, the wording is not completely my idea, but the design is mine. It was humorous to me when I showed my mom and she said, "cute" and I immediately knew she didn't get the reference as Sir Mix-a-lot isn't featured on the local "Delta Country" radio station...

I have done all of those this about 8 more. No lie. I told you I have been busy...which may explain why I printed shirts for my cousin, who is the maid of honor in my neighbor's wedding, for the bachelorette party and completely made a you see it??

Also--I am kind of obsessed with my new phone...y'all need to get the six. My students act as though I got my hands on the Hope Diamond...

until next time...

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

the one with trash talk

let's talk trash.

---So last year after the Miss America pageant, my publicist had to do some damage control after I ignorantly used a racial slur aimed toward the Indian-American winner. That's in the past. I apologized. This year, there is something more pressing: the winner's talent. I'm sorry. She ultimately played a drinking game on stage. It's laughable. I wonder why she didn't just sing instead of doing a little cup ditty? Whatever. I am proud of Miss Arkansas for being 2nd runner up!

I thought the puppet girl had a pretty entertaining talent. of course she didn't compare to Alyse Eady from Arkansas a few years ago.

---I watched fast forwarded though Dancing With The Stars last night, and this is what I noted:

*Carlton from Fresh Prince was BY FAR the best dancer.
*Duck Dynasty Daughter was BY FAR the HOTTEST "star"
*I didn't know bloggers were considered "stars"--I vote for Daddy Jack to be on next season.
*Lolo Jones made me embarrassed for her. 
*Apparently I need to DVR Pretty Little Liars because that girl is a close second to duck daughter in hotness.
*Julianne Hough left her hot set in her hair three days too long.
*Derrick needs to shave that nasty facial hair.
*Erin Andrews is a dime.

---The NFL is not having a very good month so far. Ray Rice should be tied to a tree and let his wife that still married him after he beat the dog shit out of beat his ass. Real nice gentleman, Ray. And Andrian Peterson just got caught doing something that I know my parents and all my friends' parents have done. And I love that they are calling it a "branch." He got whipped with a switch because I am sure he was being a little asshole. Before I get hate mail, I understand it was worse than a little spanking, and I do not condone child abuse. I think Adrian did go a little too far for a four year old.

---Kanye told a wheelchair bound concertgoer to stand up. And now is not apologizing. He is certainly an asshole, and perhaps he should be put in a room with Ray Rice. I don't care how much creativity he has, he is a jerk. Lucky Kim.

---So I pre ordered the new iPhone. They were available for pre order at midnight on Thursday. That was pacific time, which meant 2am here. I wasn't risking waiting until real morning, so I woke up and ordered at 2:01 am. Call me a will be here on Friday, the day they come out...I am pretty pumped about having 64gb of storage for my whole iTunes library!!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

the one with a playlist


Call me a nerd, but I am geeking out over Apple announcing the new iPhone..basically because my phone informs me just about every day that my "storage is almost full..." So I can't wait to get my hands on something with more than 16GB so I don't have to worry with adding and deleting playlists to have music based on my mood.

Speaking of music, I have to make a playlist to listen to as I mow my giant yard that takes over two hours...I appropriately named it "cut that grass for free" from my all-time favorite movie--Forrest Gump. Here are some of my current favorite songs:

1. Neon Light by Blake Shelton--Typically I am not a fan of Blake's music..I mean I listen, but I don't buy. I don't tend to like people who aren't current--and by current, I mean a moussed hairstyle. He really needs to get that under control.

2. Rude by MAGIC!

3. Bang Bang by Jessie J., Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj--because what 29 year old white male doesn't have that on his playlist? I think the same goes for number 4--

4. All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor--this song is this year's Call Me Maybe--a song that you know all the words to, but are certainly mortified if it comes across on a shuffle and quickly blame it on your friend's kid because she bought on your phone to make up a pee wee cheer leading dance...

5. Wiggle by Jason Derulo--and I recorded the VMAs and I will not delete it because I long to be able to dance like I don't look like I am have a seizure. Dude can move.\

6. Meanwhile Back at Mama's by Tim McGraw--I know, my taste in music is like my brain when I forget to take adderall. But I just enjoy this song--and it "features Faith Hill" but in the video, you see the side of half of her face--I assume she had bad botox and it didn't have time to heal before her call time on the set of this video.

7. Anything by Sam Smith--I would compare him to Adele, in male form.

8. nothing by Taylor Swift.

ok. excuse me while I tune into the live event...gotta get a good seat.

until next time..

Friday, September 5, 2014

the one about monica, chandler, jimmy, and adam

It seems as though I am receiving some sort of divine intervention. Well not really, but after my post on Wednesday about feeling old I saw something that indeed confirmed my getting closer to retirement age and made me smile. Do you all know what happened TWENTY YEARS AGO this very month?? I will give you a hint--the one that is one of the two episodes that doesn't start with "the one"-- it is simply called "The Pilot." Yes, my friends, FRIENDS premiered in September of 1994. Take a moment. I did read this article on Facebook that ranks ALL the friends episodes in order from 236 all the way to 1. For the most part, I agree with the ranking, but I would change a few in the top spots. I do agree with the 236 spot. The episode after Joey and Rachel kiss is my least favorite of them all. My favorites that are not in the top ten are: #12. The One With All the Football and #13 The One the Morning After. And my #1 would be The One Where Ross Got High.

As you all know, in my mind, Jimmy Fallon is a comedic genius. I love his show almost as much as I love Friends. I am sure y'all have seen the video of Jimmy challenging Adam Levine to a round of "karaoke" as someone else. Adam did a spot on impression of Frank Sinatra and Eddie Vedder, but his version of Sesame Street as Michael Jackson could be released as a single it was so good. 

Speaking of late night TV, I saw this and I assume I am not a good guy....

have a good weekend, y'all

until next time...

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

the one about tell-tell signs

There are tell-tell signs in a man's life revealing his status as not being as young as he once was... I think I may have experienced all of these signs past weekend. You see, I went back to the old college town to hang with college friends, only to find out I am in fact, certainly NOT in college anymore..
never too old for a selfie.

we made sure to get the beautiful sunset in the background

here's your sign(s):
|one| On my four and a half our drive, not only did I have to stop more than once to relieve the ole bladder, but also to just stretch my legs... In the days of yore, I could make the drive without thing you know I will be stopping to browse the "hand-made quilts" in the flea markets...
|1a| people actually passed me on the interstate.What?

|two| When we set out for the lake, we made sure to fill the coolers--with snacks and sandwiches?? We did have adult beverages packed as well, but I also made sure to take a Zantac prior to my one Bloody Mary as there is not enough antacid in the world to allow me to have more than one...

|three| after we spent too much time discussing whether Hellman's or Kraft was the better mayo (Hellman's, for sure) we spent even more time applying sunscreen. A few years ago, SPF didn't even cross my mind--then again, I used to actually appear to be something other than Casper. Now, it's either Edward Cullen or burned. No nice tans....

|four| the first night at the lake we were all in bed by 10:30. 

|five| while we actually have always made fun of Brad's mom's "headache free" visors--you all know what I am talking about with the spiral cords--this year, she bought some for us as a joke but most of us wore them--not as a joke, but to shield our tender eyes...


|six| As per usual, we all made fun of each other about something or another. (I am always made fun of for my cutting-edge style--only to see Brad wearing the exact thing he made fun of me for the following time I am in town) This year I made fun of you know who's thinning hair. HA! But really, thinning hair jokes are for mid-thirties, not late twenties.

Other "mature" topics included the price of sofas, c-sections vs. who-ha births, work?, politics, fox news, resting on the weekends, and so much more...but my nearly 30 year old brain can't remember..

On the positive side, this makes me feel better about three zero--these products all turn 30 in 2014:

the cosby show....
the karate kid
While I write this, I am really only joking about being "old" even though I am knocking on 30's door--not that I am counting, but in 112 days..I am actually very thankful for my blessed-beyond-measure life. Of course it is not the life my 16 year-old self (who debated whether or not to address  someone who was 30 as Mr./Mrs. or just call them their name because that was SO old) unrealistically dreamed of being certain by the time I was thirty I would have either won an Oscar or living in NYC (even though I had never been) hanging out with my SNL cast mates... I guess what turning thirty has taught me is that it's all about perspective and "success" is subjective---I am just fine living in a town with a smaller population that one building in the city, enjoying watching the Oscars--at my house, on my sofa in gym shorts and a ratty t-shirt, and as far as SNL, I did put my name in the lottery for tickets this season, again... When I don't get chosen, I will do the same as last year...TiVo it and watch it Sunday afternoon right before my weekly nap. 

Life is good y'all. Live it up.  

until next time...

Friday, August 29, 2014

the one with friday's four + too many gifs

1. I have made it through week two of this school year. Which means only 16 school weeks until Christmas break--not that I am counting. So let's just say for the sake of not losing my job or some HIPPA violation, I am writing a screenplay for my television show about a student who is narcoleptic. Let's just say this GIRL also happens to be on the football team. [Need I remind you all that I could write a book based REAL LIFE EVENTS that happen in my classroom??] The scene is this: The teacher was talking to this student and explaining to her how her hands should be placed on the keyboard, and much to the teacher's bewilderment--ole gal passes smooth out..While the teacher freaking out, this chick is already knee deep in her dream of becoming Peyton Manning. I mean, she is sleeping harder than I was the night I took an Ambien and slept right through the alarm that I unplugged in my sleep and also turned off my cell phone.  So the teacher tries to wake up this football star who is still a girl, and there is no hope. So the teacher freaks out and asks another student to call the nurse, only to be told the girl has a sleep disorder. Wouldn't it be nice if the teacher could use that as an excuse...especially the class period right after lunch. Here's to hoping this football girl doesn't fall asleep on the line of scrimmage.

 2. I am really surprised the house guests vote Donny out instead of Nicole last night...she is dangerous...I really liked Donny, and now that I saw him outside the house, still as nice and emotional as he was inside, I like him better...I thought it was his strategy to play poor, pitiful old me...but I think he really is a titty baby sometimes... side note: I don't know if there has ever been such an emotional cast. My goodness they cry at the drop of a hat. Geez.


Now that Caleb won POV, I am so curios to see if there will be a big move made this week. If he was a smart player, and since he seems to have taken Zach's place as Frankie's new lover and would not put him up, he needs to take this opp to get Derrick out, otherwise Season 16 goes to Derrick. Then Caleb can laugh all the way to bank....

3. Ok, so speaking of TV--my heart skipped a beat when I read something about a FRIENDS reunion. Then I read it was on Jimmy Kimmel, and it was only the girls. I think it was nice to see them together, but the whole deal was kind of lame to me. And after I watched it, I read the comments on the video and some people mentioned how much of a bitch Jen seemed to be. Quite the opposite actually...she was acting...come on peeps. If you want, take a look at the video. By the way, Phoebe hasn't had near the amount of botox Monica has had--she actually looks real in comparisson to Court's plastic face... and Rachel still is a 10. Always will be. duh.

4. Finally, who cares that Brad and Angelina got married? Not me.

Have a good weekend, y'all!

until next time...

Thursday, August 28, 2014

the one about my college friends

happy thursday, my friends...I am leaving town this weekend to go hang out with my buddies from college. Every time I go back to Northwest Arkansas, I have all of my favorite memories come flooding back, making me long for the days I went to class, came home to watch Dawson's Creek (good thing we did that because had we not, we would have no nickname for the boy that would later become Jaclyn's groom--I looked for the profile picture he had when they started dating, but obviously he took it down because we called him Joey Potter because she had a very similar sweater--it was something similar to this)

reruns with Jaclyn and Jaqueline, eat lunch, get ready to go out somewhere, eat late night Taco Bell, go to bed, do it all over again, and make sure my Mom deposited my weekly allowance. It was really the life. If I only had the money now I spent back then on Shrimply Tuesday at Red Lobster and a sickening amount of Chicken Scampi at Olive Garden, I could pay my mortgage every month. I thought it may be fun to re-live some of my favorite memories in honor of this weekend || No worries, Kara and Jaclyn--I will only mention the PG versions--I know y'all have pit sweat anticipating what I may discuss...relax, girl.

||one|| we were babies. This was my Junior year in the Sigma Chi house. We did lots of fun stuff here. I was in this room when the infamous Toga night happened. That is one of the best memories I have from college. At the time, we thought our lives were over...

||two|| this was one of our last functions to attend--Two Steppin and Neckin...There was a cowboy theme and my lovey roommates thought a vest was so fetch. On any given day of the week, they had something over a long sleeved tee--that was their uniform.

||three|| this was at Blu--our absolute favorite bar--simply because we could get in on a fake with no problem. We went to Blu three nights a week. Speaking of thinking something is fetch, I loved to pop a collar. I am sure Jaclyn told me she liked it only to shut me up and make me focus on which color plain tee she was wearing...the decisions we were faced with.... After Blu we got brave and tried other bars only to be turned away because Kara's fake ID featured a young lady who showed every tooth in her head and had a stacked up haircut that was so unfortunate.. then it was on to the big one--On The Rocks...we became a little too comfortable with our alter egos, and Jaclyn got her's taken. She bribed the boucer, only to reduce to tears and leading us to get ice cream and a movie night....we thought it was the end of our worlds.

||four|| just in the font yard on a random spring day....

||five|| I had been in the red wine as you can see by my purple teeth. I remember on this night someone told me my "Zac Efron haircut was horrible..." I also look like I have never had my picture taken in this photo...why the weird look, dude?

||six|| the day we graduated was so bittersweet...the four years of knowing each other and becoming best friends chapter was closing...I also remember this day and Jaclyn laughing so hard at me because they asked what name we wanted read when it was time to walk across the stage and Jaclyn told me just to write "Jake Gerrard" and of course everyone else had their full names read...It sounded like I only had one low-budget name..thanks, Dee.

It's also a wonder I graduated with as decent of a GPA as I did. I remember the first test I took in college I made an F on...I had never flunked a test..then when it came time for business classes, my whole group of friends was so smart--like 32 ACT smart...and I'm all like.."24 after 4 tries and tutors..." to be fair, I don't test well and I am the one with the Master's suck it. So on that first test, we checked our scores on the computer in the BA, and I made like a 70 something and they all set the curve....Jaclyn laughed hysterically....

||seven|| our house in the snow...notice my vehicle is outside the garage even though neither of the girls were at home...I made that mistake once of parking in the garage and I thought Jax would claw my face off she was so pissed...I am surprised she didn't rear end me...and who was I to think I deserved a key to my own house?? Jax told me no to that as well, and locked me out of our shared bathroom every single morning.

||eight|| NYE this year...together again. Notice they are in front of me, covering me up with the sign...I didn't need to be seen..

can't wait for another fun weekend of memories, you poka playas!